Mi american madrecita!

I had a really interesting weekend. Saturday i was invited to have a dinner with a friend who prepared great dishes ( OH MY GOD! )! I was able to feel alive again and finally useful! I hepled him out with some small things and I heard  nice things back about it :) yay

 

While i was doing that, my ex boyfriend was drinking with a friend ....and got home around 1:10 in the morning  drunk and smelling drinks and smoke ( so attractive ...) and just as usual, communication about what happened that night or even "im sorry but im drunk "...never happened...

we are living with my parents still ( this will change...i got a great advice....)...i thought this act a disrespectful one....and what i had to hear from my dad because of this sh*t was like a slap on my face and a "wake up"scream...FEELS HORRIBLE at that time he was talkin but now feels great....feels freedom. one of the best sentence that i ever heard from my dad lately was :                   

 

"don't be into a relationship where you are obviously not important to the other....where your feelings are shut down. Don't let anyone put you down, because if you look around you will see people who really care about and who really loves you. Look beyond your family and friends.You will find someone who fits. Because love is not forced....it just happen...you've been forcing and trying to hard on this relationship and look what you've got ....you cant put an elephant inside a small glass manuela....I know you're sad, i can see it. And i don't wanna put you down but i also don't wanna lie to you neither...think about it" - Dad's words.

 

But the most interesting thing was a conversation that i had with mi madrecita...it is kind of interesting when you ex's " mom " just tell you that  he is not the right for you...that you deserve better than that.That i will be miserable if i stick with this broken relationship ... If she said it so, who am i to say "are you sure?"

 

See her crying ( we used skype) broke my heart... broke my heart completly. I guess we shared the same pain at that moment. The pain of letting things go...the pain of knowing how much it once meant to you...the pain of the reality.

 

I got sad and stronger at the same time. sad because i won't be part of her beautiful family that i really love so much....but i got stronger because i had a view from someone who really knows my ex.

 

I am stronger to keep going on without him in my life.  Everyday i am more sure that i did the right thing and i am also sure of what i don't want in my relationship.

 

I learned a lot in this last relationship...i hope the next one be a happy and lasting one...surrounded by romatism and respect. I am ready , after an year, to share my love ( and i have tons of it ) and more than ready to feel loved again :)

 

My heart is healing because i am allowing this to happen

 

Note to self: Enjoy every moment  of my new style of life.I changed so much!  I am much stronger than before...ready for new life! new love! new me! It's  much  better to be singe than to be in a fake relationship.