I got a bit surprise last friday when I asked Ian if he was ok regarding my relationship with his mom.
His answer was : for now...yes. I do have to say that this pissed me off.
First because he said tha the would be ok if me and his mom keep our friendship...and of course he is changing his mind... second because on sunday , i brought this subject back and he said "no, its ok...its fine. I even like your relationship with my mom...but i said "for now"because i was frustrated that she was supporting you and not me....."
how would she be supporting him if he never asked for her help???
ah....and of course i didnt hear anything like "i am sorry to be frustrated and put all my frustration towards you by saying "for now, im ok with it".
something is funny : when people treats you like shit ...in the begining you freak out....you get really hurt....and whatever else....but now i do not allow this things to impact my life anymore.
I really lost everything....my dignity, my dreams...my love...my will...everything. Loosing my "madrecita"would hurt me a lot. But if is that what he wants, then be it.
Note to self: Letting go....little by little... i am already noticing that my backpack is much lighter.
keep doing it.
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