He won’t let me go” I have heard
this so many times from women who come to me for advice. In the midst of
battling the reasons whether they should stay in their relationship or if it is
time to walk away, they find comfort in believing that the man must love them
because he refuses to bow out peacefully. Granted there
are many situations that the man is truly in love with the woman, but do not
always be fooled.
A lot of times what is really happening is that you’re
just too damn convenient. You are too beneficial to this man for him to
dare let you walk away. We all see women everyday who basically are the mothers
to the men they are with. They do it all and sexual benefits are included. They
take care of everything and allow the man to get away with way too much. He can
cheat on her and disrespect her. He can break her mentally, emotionally, and
spiritually. Yet because he insists that he wants to be with you when you’re
ready to leave you actually start to buy into the “he won’t let me go, so he must
love me” perception. If he really loved you he would not do half the things I
just listed. He would not wait until you’re ready to leave to finally step up
his game (he will step it up long enough to reel you back in but then it is
back to the same old negative behavior). If he actually loved you then his
heart would weigh heavy on him when he knowingly and continuously brings you
stress, unhappiness, and hurt. A man who loves his woman cannot continuously
watch his woman in pain and be OK with it. Some situations are not this extreme
but the principle remains the same. He keeps you around and fights for you
because you’re his meal ticket. So why would he let that go.
Love has nothing to do with it and a woman needs to be honest with herself.
She should not continue to feed herself a lie due to her fear of a failed
relationship and being alone. At the end of the day, I nor does anyone else
have all the facts to your situation. So our opinions are somewhat limited. As
a woman you have to trust your intuition more because rarely does a woman not
know the answer deep inside. For those that are spiritual I do know somebody
that does have all the facts and that’s GOD. So when you’re in a situation
where you really don’t know where you stand with your partner then lean on
GOD’s guidance. Because believe me, that man can and will say whatever is
necessary to keep his benefits going but GOD will only tell you to do what is
beneficial for YOU. Don’t keep telling yourself and others that “he won’t let
me go”, because the real issue to consider is why do you continue to allow him
to stay.
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